Kidney - supporting a child
When your child needs a kidney transplant, it can feel overwhelming—for both of you. As a parent, you want to protect your child while helping them understand what lies ahead. This page is here to guide you through these conversations, providing reassurance, practical advice, and examples of what you can say.
Are you a parent that needs a kidney transplant and wants to talk to your child about what lies ahead for you? Or head over to our kids resources page where you can find resources for children.
Let’s start with a conversation
Prepare yourself – take time to understand the process and feel comfortable with the information before discussing it with your child. Before starting the conversation practice what you want to say to another adult and write down key points.
Choose the right time and place – find a quiet, calm moment where you can give your child your full attention. Make sure they feel safe and supported.
Use age-appropriate language – adjust your explanation to their level of understanding. Younger children may need simple terms, while older children may want more details.
Be honest but reassuring – explain what a kidney transplant means, why it’s needed, and that it’s a step toward helping them feel better.
Example for a young child:
“Your kidneys aren’t working as well as they should right now, and that’s why you’ve been feeling tired or unwell.
A doctor is going to help us find a new kidney for you so your body can feel stronger and healthier. It’s a big step, but we’ll be with you the whole time.”
Example for an older child:
“You know how we’ve been going to the doctor a lot lately? That’s because your kidneys aren’t doing their job as well as they need to.
A kidney transplant is the best way to help you feel better and keep your body healthy in the long run. It’s a lot to take in, but we’ll go through this together.”
Encourage questions
Let your child know it’s okay to ask questions or share how they feel. Children process things differently—some might want to talk a lot, while others might need time to think. If they don’t have questions right away, they may need time to process. You can encourage them gently over time.
“If you think of any questions later, let me know. I’m here to help you understand everything.”
“We can talk more whenever you’re ready—there’s no rush.”
“The doctors and nurses will make sure you’re comfortable. You might feel sore for a little while after the surgery, but they’ll give you medicine to help with that.”
“Your kidneys aren’t working well enough to keep your body healthy, but the new kidney will help with that. It’s like getting a replacement part that will make your body work better.”
“Sometimes it comes from someone in our family, and other times it comes from a kind person who wanted to help someone in need.”
“You’ll probably stay in the hospital for about a week so the doctors can make sure everything is going well. After that, you’ll come home and keep getting stronger.”
“It might take a little time, but every day you’ll feel stronger and healthier. You’ll be able to do more of the things you love as you recover.”
“Most people can live a long, healthy life with their new kidney, but we’ll keep going to the doctor to make sure everything is working well.”
“Yes, once you’re feeling better, you’ll be able to play and do the things you love again. You’ll just need some time to rest and heal first.”
“It’s okay to feel scared. I feel that way sometimes too. But we have a great team of doctors and nurses who know exactly how to take care of you. And I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“That’s a really good question, and I wish I had an easy answer. Sometimes, our bodies need extra help, and that’s why we have amazing doctors and treatments to fix things. It’s not your fault, and we’re going to get through this together.”
“Who will give me a kidney?”
Explain the role of a donor in simple terms:
“A donor is someone who gives one of their kidneys to help someone who needs it.”
If the donor is a family member, let your child know it’s a special gift. If it’s from a non-related donor, share how generous it is for someone to help.
Preparing for the Journey
Talk about the hospital stay – walk them through what will happen in the hospital, from check-in to recovery. Knowing what to expect can reduce fear.
Focus on the positive emphasise the goal of the transplant—improving their health and allowing them to enjoy the things they love again.
Share stories of hope – If appropriate, share positive stories of others who have undergone transplants to inspire confidence.
Coping together as a family
It’s okay to show your emotions, but also reassure your child with your strength and love. Encourage siblings or other family members to be supportive and involved.
The ACLT wants you to know that you’re not alone. We’re here to support you every step of the way. Whether you need help explaining the process or just someone to talk to, please reach out.
